sooo :( T^T

hi all!
i'm really super duper sorry for not updating or posting :(
i was working and had honestly, i swear, no time at all :(
i was working almost every day, only sundays off and yesterday was my last day! :)
buuuuutt, as a result of working, i did not do much homework :(
sooo i'm starting now and hopefully i will have enough time to finish *cross fingers*
sighh crucial year ahead, seriously need to work hard..
thats all for now :)
thanks for sticking with me too ;)
xx

past mistakes.

everytime i reflect on a certain thing i did days, months and even years ago, i always think about how i hurt you.
that was no doubt, the worst i'd ever done this whole year. i couldn't believe i actually was that dumb to let you go. but i had to choose right?
if not there would be no end.
there are times i really regretted badly what i done to you. i think about it all the time.
if i had a choice, i definitely wouldn't hurt you at all. what i did was really horrible.
i think about it all the time.
if i can ever rewind my life knowing the mistakes that i once made, i would not do it again.

sigh i really don't have much appetite nowadays, i just had organic soya for the whole of today.
what's wrong with me?
sometimes eat so much sometimes never even eat. :/
so anyway last night i spent like 1 hr+ updating my library on Wattpad.
i deleted every single story in my library and then went in search of other stories.
my favourite sections is always thw Watty Awards and romance. hmmm.
i guess i like my stories to have a happy ending ^^
so i was reading this story, i forgot the title but it's about a girl called Amelia, she has to live with her father, cruel stepmother and stepsister and her brother, Hayden, whom she loves dearly.
Amelia goes into a new school where she meets her soulmate, a teacher called Nathaniel.
But what she doesn't know is that he's a vampire. And both of her new friends are also vampires, and related to Nathaniel.
This story shows how Amelia escaped her abusive family, found her soulmate and how she deals with the supernatural. It's a really awesome story, it's under romance :)
sooo i've been reading since 1+ up till now and i'm only at chapter 19. :/
This story has 40+ chapters! guess i'll be staying up all night just to finish this book but i have work tomorrow :x
so i'll try to finish this like soon hehe :)
updates later and tomorrow? i'll try.
xx

jealousy kills, now you know

i really hope that you won't be so jealous. i told you that i won't leave you for another guy. i told you that before many many times. a little jealousy here and there is fine but sometimes it gets out of control. and when it gets out of control, it will end up like last night. which i do not want a repeat of.
i know that you're scared of me leaving you, but i assure you, that will not happen. trust me.
when i was jealous of them i didn't blow up did i. to tell you the truth i still am. i'm still afraid of you going over to her because i know she's better than me in every possible way.

BERLINDIA.
why you all so sad :( haven't you heard the song?! this the season to be happy la la la la la la la la la~
did you sing that aloud? i hope you did :) anyway, if there's anything, anything at all that you want to get off your chest, you know i'll be here. you do know that don't you! well if you don't, now you do! i hate seeing my best friends upset. no, i do not ask out of curiousity.
i want you to tell me what happened, because if you say it aloud, you'll feel better. And by saying aloud, i mean telling people. You don't have to keep things to yourself, Berlindia. You know that people care about you. Like Faseha, Amalia, me. People that care don't want to see you upset.
Do you want to hear a joke? :) What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-stigator XD hahahaha! okay lame. But anyway i do hope that at least made you smile? So let's get back to this serious post! >< i'm so serious! Fine.
I do kind of know this is about that guy right? From your tweets, blog posts and texts, he got back with his ex? Dumb. But anyway, don't be upset. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe he just wasn't good enough for you that's why. God thought that he was good for you, but then he actually wasn't, so He sent him back to his evil ex! And you, will wait for the nice guy that comes along :) maybe your B2st!
Everything in our life is predestined, so whatever happened, happened. You'll just have to let it go. If he really did like you, he wouldn't let go that easily my dear. But now you finally see his true colors, and he actually helped you to find out what you don't want in a guy in the future. Right? So don't be so upset :) You're a wonderful girl, and you'll find the right person who will see it. Don't do anything stupid okay!! Anything just text me :) or call me hehehehe :B i'll disturb you :) okay la, shall end this post here, and see you tomorow dear! :)

JIAWEI.
my dear girl! i'm not really sure where to start but i guess i'll start from your blog! today, i went to your blog (don't say i'm a stalker) and read your post on the sibling love thing. i just want you to know that your parents do love you. they do. i guess they are not the type to show love. or maybe they don't know how to show it to you. your sister may be better than you academically but you know yourself that you've tried your best for EOY. i do know that you've tried your best because we studied together!
i may not know how it feels like to be compared to your sibling but i do know that it's awful. But comparing and being compared is part of human nature. it's just like KFC and Mac's harsh brown! which do you prefer? You'll pick Mac! Right? You can't blame your parents for that my dear. Your parents love you, they really do. Trust me.
You're not a girl who wastes her money buying unnecessary stuffs. To me, you're a really caring, nice, sweet, funny girl. Life is precious, don't waste it okay!
Promise me you won't do anything stupid! Every minute you spent contemplating your existence is every minute wasted to make yourself happy. You'll always have me here alright :) anything you can just call me :) to talk to me or just feel like calling me also can :) you're not alone my dear girl. i'll always, always be here for you just like you did for me.
and anyway, i've gotten you your birthday present! :B hehehe happy or not?! haha find one day we go out together alright! :) i only need to work on 11, 12, 17 and 18 December :) then i'm free~ you this little pig!! i text you no reply, bet you still sleeping right :( wake up la! :)
and remember, i love you and when you find yourself lonely, just call me up :) i will pick it up! unless i'm sleeping :x but yeah :) see you soon babe! ;) <3
``

if you trust me then why did you insist i was lying when my phone was switched off during that 40 times

accident.

imagine a stranger driving, in a car with 3 other passengers, talking and laughing. They were getting ready to have a fun day out. They hadn't seen each other for so long, and they had to catch up on each other's lives. Yes, they all agreed that the cafe up in Bukit Timah road seemed like a good place to hang out while they tell each other their recent embarrasing stories.
As it started to rain steadily, a small abandoned puppy ran across the road for cover. And the normal reaction from most drivers when an animal runs across the roadnwould be to brake. And so he did. The car had just started to move forward when another car behind them rammed into the back of the front car.
The impact had caused a passenger, who wasn't wearing her seatbelt to be flung out through the driver's window.
The two cars stood by the side of the road, wrecked. By then, a crowd was forming.
The passenger who was flung out of the driver's window is still struggling to get air into her lungs. Slowly, a passer-by, then two, then three, went to help. They had called the ambulance and was waiting anxiously for it to arrive. The passenger lay there desperately trying to breathe, while all the passers-by could do was to wish fervently that the ambulance would be quicker.
The passers-by slowly went over to the passenger, and one of them knelt down and held the passenger's hand, easing her to death, because he knows that she will not make it, judging by her injuries. Just as the distance wailing of the ambulance reaches them, the passenger breathes just her last words to the passer-by, just before her life ended. Those words that will continue to follow him for the rest of his life, and have enough power to question everything he does.
``
i finally got the idea that life is really short. one moment you could be so excited over something, and the next, you're saying your last words. people often say that life is short, you should live yours to the fullest, but how do you do so? you know that you're gonna die some day, but you don't know whether when you're really going to truly die. and how will it happen. that thought scares me.
the thought that i will never be able to see my loved ones again, the thought that i will never see my dearest friends again, the thought that i will never see you again scares me.
then i begin to wonder.
what will happen to those around me when i'm dead? will their lives go on as usual? will they mourn for me?
then i start thinkinhg that what if they didn't care about me? will they be happy that i'm gone?
anyway, what i'm trying to say is, cherish your life. every moment you spend contemplating your existence, is every moment you could've done to make yourself happy.
i've learned that from experience, and from what i've seen today.
this story that i typed at the top is partially true. minus the going out with friends part.
all i saw at the accident scene was just the police tent thing that covered the body. and police officers.
that is all. it was at Bukit Timah.

oh, one last thing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2j0VPSYPHs

so that's it? you're leaving me then? because you claimed i don't feel anything for you?
i do.
the thought that you would ever ever ever doubt my feelings never crossed my mind.
i'm not one to publicly display affection.
it took a lot just for me to admit that i liked you, in the beginning.
it took a lot just for me to admit that i loved you, and still do.
it took a lot just for me to admit all this.
i did all this because i trust you.
i trust that you won't let me down. i trust you with my heart. i trust you with everything i had, those broken bits.
everytime when you would make me cry because of something that i did wrong, i would stay. all these times, i stayed. i expected the same from you.
was it too much for you then?
it's true that expectations lead to disappointments. i understood that phrase and got to try how it really felt today.
i thought you would never leave me. you said it yourself too.
me, on the other hand is still where i am. where you left me. i feel so damn lost now.
i'm the one whose always at fault aren't i?
i get all the texts from you saying how hurt you are. how you feel when we fight.
what about me? have you ever thought about me? have you ever thought how i would feel?
i'm a human. i have feelings too. i'm much more sensitive.
i can't take all these voices saying i'm useless and horrible and stupid and ugly and selfish
then again, there's only one explaination. i'm a horrible person.
that's the cause for everything right? i'm horrible and terrible
there are times i really want to die. for everything that i had ever done.
death is the way out of this trapped world im in isn't it?
death is the way out of everything in my life.
i'm not worthy of life. i'm so mean, selfish and sometimes harbor bad thoughts.
bad people like me don't deserve living.
i should die from being a horrible person
i guess i won't be posting much more?
i don't know why everybody hates me so much
maybe i do because now i hate me too
and i don't see the point for trying, for talking, for breathing
i'm done

sorry :(

sorry for not updating for so long :( i had job and was working!
i am working in a primary school bookshop :)
i had alwasy thought it would be easy but no, it was really tiring!
when we walked in, we actually had to sort the primary 1 to 6 books. and that wasn't the worse thing.
the worst thing was all the books were on the floor, in stacks and all over the place!! so we had to randomly take and then sort it according to levels. sigh sooooo messy!!
then yesterday we had to pack the p1 books in bags.
there was a file that was suppose to be in it but it was the wrong order, and the correct one was supposed to be delivered yesterday but then it didn't arrive. so we will most likely get it on monday.
and monday will be the worst because its primary 1 registration, and all the parents will buy the books :(

you know that tingly feeling that starts in your tummy and goes all the way to your heart? i always feel that when i'm about to see you. and when you call me what you like to call me, i always feel weak. i'm so weird hahahaha

YES SO I'VE LISTENED TO ONE DIRECTION'S FULL ALBUM
IT'S FREAKING AWESOME
OMG
their songs are so damn catchy!
i've already downloaded their whole album :')
those of you who haven't listened to it, do check it out! here's the link to hear their whole album, including Live While We're Young :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPH3okmqmzM&feature=related

happy :)

finally got a new phone.
i've been wantitng to get those One Direction cartoon phone covers cos they're so damn cute!!!!
tomorrow, everyone's accompanying grandma to the hospital.
she fractured her toes by kicking the bed.. up till now i don't know how she did it. it seems scary!!

cinema dates :)

hehe. today will be going to ochard cineleisure! catching the movie House at the end of the street :)
FINALLY YAYAAY~ going with Jiawei and Jerome!

sighh.

it's really tiring. right now i'm stuck with the little monster :(
everyone's out and i'm left with the task of looking after him :(

outing :)

soo i had already planned to go out this Saturday! with Jiawei and Jerome ^^
we will be watching  House at the end of the street starring my favorite actress, Jennifer Lawrence *.*
next week with Amalia, Berlindia, Faseha, Jiawei and Jerome!
we'll be watching Ah boys to men :)
hahaha. right now i'm having my lunch! grandma cooked my favorite dish :')

beau-tiful morning~

today's a very nice morning, so warm and full of sunshine hahaha.
just woke up :)

5 minutes.

you just texted me asking me to go down in 5 mins.
:)

movies season~

there are so many movies i want to watch!
but i already planned which i want to watch first! :P
1) House at the end of the street. (my Jennifer Lawrence!! *.*)
2) Ah boys to men!
3) Pitch Perfect (i love singing also!)
4) Apartment 143 (horror!)
5) Skyfall!
haha still remember like 2 weeks ago all of the movies were all either NC16, M18 or boring :(
i must watch all these!!

changed my blogskin~

hehe i've changed my blogskin! i hope it's nicer because i think it is but you might not think so :P
today went to meet Minghao outside the library to collect my homework :)
but that doesn't mean i'll do :B no la i will!
then i dragged him into the library where i went on to borrow books! i initially chose a lot of books and poor Minghao has to carry it all :(
haha but then i put some back! then we were sitting at the chairs reading the horoscope book when Amalia appeared! haha :)
before that she actually texted me, and here's how our convo went:
Amalia: eh want meet?? we finishing class soon :)
me: i'm with Minghao at library!
Amalia: what you doing with Minghao?!
(at this point i was feeling rather cheeky so i replied her this!)
me: stuffs ;)
Amalia: -.-'
haha then we met up and had our lunch at KFC~
i ended up borrowing only 3 books! 1 of them is actually somesort of a horoscope book! :)
then at KFC Yucheng texted Minghao asking him to say hi to me lol.
so funny!
after we went to watsons and i was smelling the roll on perfume that Jiawei and me bought, then Amalia actually stuck the perfume bottle up my nose! like literally up my nose ==
now i still smell of a little cherries T.T
that's not the worst thing. the worst thing is i hate cherries!! they stink and now i'm actually stuck with smelling it most probably the whole damn day! thanks Amalia -.-
haha alright, shall end this post already, will most likely post again later ;)
see you, xx

waiting..

i miss those late night calls that we always used to have. we could literally just talk about anything on the phone for hours.
i'm still waiting for your call..

my head hurts so damn bad. i guess hitting the wall didn't really help
feel so sleepy now

i want to disappear. from my life. it's okay that i fucked mine but i screwed up other people's life too.

enough.

you didn't even tell me anything. tell me. what did i lie to you about? as far as i know i didn't lie to  you. tell me. you don't tell me how i know? you know something? i really hate fighting with you.
i feel so unwanted and hated by you. you would always care if it's hurtful to you but what about me? did you even think before how i would feel if you just ignored me? do you?
i'm really tired of trying and trying and trying. i'll be honest with you. i always have patience with you. i don't know why. i'm only human and i too have my breaking point.
i'm so damn tired of everything. i'm so tired of my life. i'm so tired of screwing up every single thing.
i feel like i don't mean anything to you at times.

i'm a real big mess. i can't seem to do anything right and i don't know why. at times i really wish to be another person because now every person i see has a smile on their face. i want to be free of my problems. i hate to feel so useless and stupid.

 

my favorite actress..

so as i was browsing the movie trailers on youtube, i saw this movie called..
HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET.
initially i didn't think much of it, and as i love horror/thriller movies, i watched the trailer and found out that Jennifer Lawrence, my favorite actress was the main character in the show! i was so damn excited for the show and i was also very happy that Jennifer Lawrence was in it!! *FANGIRLING*

looks familiar? yes you got it right if you guessed that she's from The Hunger Games!
she plays Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games! the next sequel to the Hunger Games is Catching Fire, which will debut on, 22 September 2013~
#IloveJenniferLawrence #IloveJenniferLawrence #IloveJenniferLawrence
remember to catch HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET!

last day of school~

yes so today's the last day of school but i didn't go for it.
cos i didn't feel like it, yikes :s
i'm already in my holiday mood y'know~ :)

guys as best friends.

everyone is always asking whether guys and girls can be best friends.
my answer was always yes, that is until i fell for my guy best friend. if you're really lucky, he might have fallen for you too, but if you're not then i guess you most probably wouldn't have another guy as your best friend.
those people who thinks that guys can be best friends with girls most likely have never experienced this before.
the reason why i say that girls and boys can't be best friends is because you both will spend a lot of time together. i mean he's your best friend you will definitely spend time with him right?
and what happens when you both spend time together? you will get to understand him more.
when you get understand him more, you yourself trust him more, telling hims stuffs that you won't even tell your best friend sometimes.
you trust him more, you get attached.
then you start to like him.
that was kinda what happened to me. but the thing was i am lucky because he likes me too.
but that still hasn't changed my mindset on guys as best friends.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FASEHA!

today is one of my best friend's birthday, Faseha!
Faseha,
i hope you're feeling better over everything! :) today is your birthday, so forget about everything that's made you upset ^^
i'm really sorry i wasn't able to go for your birthday lunch but we'll go eat tomorrow alright? with Berlindia and Amalia!
i also want to thank you for always being there for me, always advising me on what i should do when i'm feeling lost. you're one of the few people whom i can actually tell anything! you're a really good friend :)
if there's anything that's bothering you, feel free to just call me or text me alright! ^^
i love you very very much and i don't want to see you upset! it's really depressing to see you upset :(
once again happy birthday Faseha! :)
see you maybe later, xx

study buddy anyone?

i don't really feel good. been vomiting since yesterday, but felt better today. stomach hurts too :(
don't really think i'll be going school tomorrow.
but i most definitely will on Tuesday as it's the last day!
time really flies so damn fast. looking back, i actually regretted not spending enough time on my studies this year. therefore during this holidays, i sure well make good use of my time on studies!
i most likely start with math, my weakest and yes, the most things to catch up on.
everytime i hear the word math, my brain just shuts off. yeah it isn't really a favourite subject for me.
math, poa, chinese, chemistry, physics, art.
yes i'm focusing on all these~
you might ask why art is one of them. art is important okay! i'm not that good at drawing so i'll be needing art tuition lols T.T
so study buddy anyone?
see you tomorrow, xx

jealousy.

i'm just going to get straight to the point.
i'm that type of person who's easily jealous. i am paranoid, i am selfish and yes i am jealous.
please don't make me jealous. i don't know what i will do if i ever reach my breaking point.
just send me over the edge and yes, be prepared to deal with a fucking psycho.
trust me, you wouldn't want that to happen.

:(

why is everyone so sad today..
i also sad leh. oh i just remebered i have beancurd yay shall go eat it later :D
so today basketball with Amalia, Berlindia, Jerome, Rich and Samuel @ sunset way!
so fun but it was so damn difficult to snatch the ball from Rich :(
even Berlindia, Jerome, Samuel and me ganged up and tried to kick, push, pull the ball and even jumping on Rich but it doesn't work -.-'
lol but overall had a super fun day :)
today Mr Tan didn't come for art ahhahaha YESSSS
tomorrow i intend to go only for art lesson, then skip english and poa!
should i?

reasons why i love you~

he's mine.

whenever we're together, and you get attention from a bunch of pretty girls,
can you make sure to show them you only love me?

Yucheng and Minghao.

haha i told you your names will come out right!
you guys are so mean, especially Minghao.
but its super fun to disturb you guys~
honestly to tell you the truth, i didn't expect Yucheng to read this blog! seriously.
i thought you always play game one, then like don't read anything lolol

This kiss.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf78alvpxRM
this video is This kiss by Carly Rae Jepson!
its a nice song :)

hot weather!

sooo yesterday Angelica stayed over night and yes we slept very late because we would spend our time talking and laughing.
haha so anyways today might be going out. not quite sure but yeah.
i don't think so though. everyones complaining how hot today is.
my stomach hurts :(
hot weathers like this pisses me off.
damn.
ordering pizza yay!

it's really windy now! i like :)
hahaha.
yesterday was at west coast park!

nada nada nada

i hate it when people take other people and compare them to me. yes i know i'm lagging behind every single seemingly perfect person that you can pull out. i know that they're always smarter, prettier, nicer, sweeter than me YES I DO KNOW IT.
but when you do it every single fucking time i get so damn frustrated because i'll never be as good as them.
or as close as good as them.
i know it. please just stop.

sides?

i can smell the rain!
anyways, today was a super long day.
after what happened yesterday, not really in the mood to talk or play or laugh.
lucky i had Jiawei, Berlindia, Faseha, Berlyn, Fiona and Preethi by my side.
those who were originally close to me flocked to her.
but firstly, why the hell were there even sides? i mean the both of us already were okay. so why did these extra people come in and mess it up more huh
this had nothing to do with you at all. so why the hell were there sides?
sighhh.

PSI.

so today my parents met teacher.
met up and talked over my results.

i've got problems, i've got issues sometimes its all too much for me

a lot of stuffs happened today.
i've lost what i think is everyone.
i'm such a fucked up person. and i hate it. i hate the ways things have turned into.
i hate to know that i'm such an evil person
i am tired of being the bad person, why am i like this?
Her:
hello, if you're reading this, i want you to know how damn sorry i am. the angry me isn't always out, but it seems to come out very often nowadays. i wasn't like this once. i gues it had to do with how perfect you are. everyone said before that no one was perfect. but you, are a different case. everyone wants to be you. you have the looks, brains and friends. me on the other hand, is trying so damn hard to fit in, while you can just walk into a room people will just listen to you. everyone loves you. i really hate what i did today. we were always very close, but because i let this thing affect me sooo much, i actually distanced myself from you, and i disliked you because you're just that perfect
the reason why i actually was angry was because there were people who told me that both of you look like you're together. when i see the both of you sitting so close and smiling and talking and laughing i also thought that.
i'm really sorry and i would like to salvage what little we have left.
i don't want to lose a friend like you. and please, don't completely distance yourself from him, i know he's like your best friend and brother but please, don't cut off connection with him just because of me.
i'm sorry.
Him:
hello. i know that you'll read this. i hope that you are. i want you to know that i'm really sorry for i had done. please don't get angry with me or upset with me when you read this because i just want to apologise and clear things up alright
i know i've been mean lately to you over this subject. to tell you the truth, i am upset with what you've got with her.
the both of you seem like you guys are really an item
i was mad at that, that you both were so close so endearing towards each other
that doesn't really give me the chance to spoil what you had
please don't let what happened earlier today ruin your friendship with her
i don't want to see the both of you so distanced because of me
i'm sorry.

gooood morning :)

today's weather seems like its gonna rain! :)
anyways, recently i've been watching some crime stories on youtube, mostly on all those murder.
sometimes i really just dont' understand why people can murder other people.
why?
some even murder their own kids for attention. wtf?
i was so shocked when i heard that!
seriously who does that?

it's a happy happy happy day! :)

so this morning you sent me a text saying you forgive me! i was really shocked and i thought i was still dreaming so i hit the wall twice. and checked my phone again. i was so damn happy!! :)
i'm really sorry that i hurt you, and i'm also happy that we're friends again ^^
alright, so anyways today went out with my dears, Jiawei and Jerome!
we went to Jcube.
we headed to the ride thingy and it was so scary :(
we then went to the cinemas but then decided not to watch cos there were no nice show :(
those nice movies were either NC 16, M 18 or were late at night!
so we went to the arcade! went there to play games and took neoprint with Jiawei!

then we went to eat kfc! :) after we finished Jerome and me went toilet! but the toilet was closed so we watched people at the ice rink and they were falling down so funny!
in the end we went to the top toilet!
then we went to toy outpost to get our earpiece but my phone doesn't support the accessory so i  couldn't listen to music :( so Jiawei didn't buy it too.
we then went back to the arcade for more games and neoprints~ but this time we took, all the pictures were nicer! but they couldn't retrieve the picture :'(
so we took again. although it wasn't as nice as the previous but its still awesome. this time we even managed to drag Jerome inside :)
i'm most likely gonna include the pics with Jerome tomorrow because now it's really laggy.
so buhbye! see you tomorrow ;)

my dear Berlindia.

Berlindia! hello :) so this post is for you alright!~ ^^
i know that you're really upset with your results, everyone is. i trust you not to do silly things over your results my dear.
to tell you the truth, i am also like damn scared i'll retain.. because my ca is really bad. and when i mean very bad, it is very bad. it took me every little effort just to get borderline passes for some of my weak subjects, like my chemistry and physics. i failed my chem by 1 mark!
i know how you feel when you've studied so damn hard but just don't get the expected results.
i really studied my math and poa but i still failed so badly.
just try and do your best for the upcoming year alright? i'm sure everyone will :)
okay. second thing.
you and your ahem best friend ;) i hope that you guys will get together soon! you two look so cute leh! i saw you at the road holding hands when i was in the bus~
to tell you the truth i've never seen you look so happy with other people before. so if you get together, last long okay :)
so summing up, don't be so pessimistic okay? i'm always here for you. i'm just a few buttons away on your phone, never hesitate to press the call button :) just like you said, i'm 24/7! if at night and you just want someone to talk to, just call. if i never pick up means i'm sleeping, or in the toilet haha! just leave a msg and i'll call you in the morning :)
i love you k? don't think so much! cheer up my dear ^^

results.

so yesterday and today was the checking of exam scripts. which = to doooom.
yep.
okay so i failed my maths and poa. sad sia.
i passed my english, chinese, combined sciences, combined humanities and art!
i really hope i won't retain..

so noisy!

downstairs so noisy :(
anyway i'll be going out today! yes :)
i'm in the process of getting ready but i decided to blog for a while :)
hehe!
we'll be going to MBS~

good morning :)

i just woke up. haha really late i know but thats cos i slept late last night!
sighhh.
feel like going out somemore! i hope my parents let me go for tomorrow!
i'm tiredddd.

awesome day minus away the sadness (part 2)

sooo the sadness is about this friend that i made earlier this year.
i'm really sorry for how i treated you. believe me, i am.
you are a really nice person, and i do feel guilty that i hurt you so badly.
i really don't want you to leave my life, despite how i just walked out on yours.
i realized fully that my actions brought on your sadness. i really hope that you will forgive me.
if you don't, i understand why. i'm sorry.

awesome day minus away the sadness.

today had fun with Jiawei and Jerome! :)
we went to Bugis to shop hehehe :b
anddd the outcome was....

if you like it, you can go get it at:
wallet: Bugis-$5
moustache ring: 3 for $10 you can mix n match with other items ^^
castle ring: 3 for $10 you can mix n match with other items :)
spiked cuff: 3 for $10 you also can mix and match :)
One Direction band: Jcube, Hoka (simply toys and toy outpost) for $8
One Direction ezlink card sticker: $1 (Jcube, Hoka)
One Direction badge: $5 (Jcube, Hoka)
 

so we had subway for our lunch, then headed for a day of shopping~
1st and 2nd hour.
walked around the whole of Bugis (i believed.)
bought the rings, cuff and wallet :) Jiawei was also looking for her transparent school bag but she didn't manage to find it :(
then we went to the arcade, and we saw this scary game. so we went inside and Jiawei and me started screaming lolol. poor Jerome!
3rd hour.
walked around Illuma in search of the neoprint shop! but when we went there, it was closed down :(
so we decided to go to other places to take neoprint!
4th hour.
we spent some time debating whether we should go to Jurong point, West mall or Jcube.
finally decided on Jcube~
we went to the ice rink, and spotted Crystal! we chatted for awhile before we set off again ^^
we went to Hoka, and i bought the One Direction's stuffs while Jiawei bought a skull necklace~
we went the arcade there to take neoprints :)

5th hour.
we trained back to Clementi where we bought gongcha and koi~ well it was me who bought koi so yeah ^^v
so during that time when i was queueing up to buy koi, i was at the cashier then we striked up a conversation, it goes like this:
Cashier (c) : you like One Direction? (cos i was wearing that band you saw up there!)
Me (m) : yup!
c : oh, so you're a directioner! who you like? Zayn ah?
m : all i like! hmmm Niall most :)
c : that's rare!
hahah so that goes.
so before we both went home,

yes yes, we took pictures again ;)

her moutache is pink while mine's blue :)

can't wait to go out with my darling again :) i love her!

for you.

i think you know who you are. just read on if you're unsure if i'm referring to you but yeah.
so this post is just to clear things up between us alright. i know i didn't really talked much to you earlier. i apologise for that.
so last night you called me up and you told me you liked her last year. remember that very long silence i gave you? yeah i was thinking of what to say and i wasn't really happy.
long before that, my opinions of her changed. as in i compared myself to her. since everyone was doing that, why not? i know i seem contradicting when i said that i hate people who compare me with others but i was just as afraid and curious to know what difference there was between us. so i did.
and now i know why you liked her.she's really pretty, no one can deny. she's smart, up to your standards. she's generous, just like you. she's kind, you admire people with that trait. she's honest, you love honest people.
she's everything while i'm nothing. that was how i felt when you told me how good she was compared to me.
i really want to talk to her. but it's just everytime i look at her, i'm reminded of how good she is and no matter how hard i try, i'm never going to be as close as good as her.
please don't be upset or angry with me when you read this. i am just being honest. this is how i really feel. i couldn't do it in real life or through the phone, so i use words to convey this messed up feeling i get. i hope you understand.

FINALLY.

FINALLY EXAMS ARE OVER WEEEEEE~
TODAYS PAPER WAS POA!

what?

just ate my dinner! right now talking to Jerome hehehe.
today's papers were Math paper 1 and Physics!
to tell you the truth the math paper was so damn difficult till i wanted to stick my head in a fan T.T

Physics was okay though thank God :)
hah yay so happy tomorrow no need to go school :D

please, don't get tired of me.

please, don't get tired of me.
 

im tired.

i'm tired of yelling, pretending, being alone, feeling angry, feeling crazy, feeling stuck.
i'm tired of needing help, remembering, missing things, missing people, feeling worthless.
i'm tired of feeling empty inside, not being able to let go.
i'm tired of wishing i could start all over. i'm tired of dreaming of a life i will never have.
i'm tired of being tired.

beautiful morning.

good morning! it's 9.44 am right now!
sighhh. tomorrow's my maths paper 1 and physics paper. honestly speaking i am so not ready for maths. seriously. i don't know a single shit.
i do know some la but still i really forgot mostly the sec 2 things :/ hmmmmm ya i'm so screwed
im actually, surprisingly, quite okay with physics.
shall finish up my physics then do my maths..

goood-nighhhht.

so now's 10.26!
today went ot clementi mall to Berlindia, Jerome and Samuel!
we went burger king ^^ saw Crystal there too!
laughed a lot but we also studied :)
afterward dinner at Mac then met up with Sophia to pass her my photocopied notes!
i'm so sweet to you leh Sophia! :b
there we bumped into Jermaine :)
hehehe. then went and buy laoban! it's like the awesome-st beancurd ever. like seriously. besides laoban i also like 51! :)
i bought 3 and i already ate 2 :/
should have bought like a few more!
then reached home about 8! :)
had a great time! :)

MY POST EXAMS PLAN.

AFTER EXAM I SWEAR IM GONNA COLLAPSE PLAYING ^^v

ARGH
so last night, when i was having my chinese tuition, i was listening to the radio!
i kept switching from 98.7 to 91.3 then finally on 91.3, i hear that Cher Lloyd was coming to Singapore on the October 13th! she's having somesort of a mini concert i think (didn't really listened cos i was fangirling) and they said that only 18 and above can go..
then they said for those not over 18, Cher Lloyd will be down at Ion Orchard at 3 :)
ARGH AND 13 OCTOBER IS LIKE ONE DAY AFTER MY EXAMS FINISH YES YES YES I LOVE CHER LLOYD~~

i'm back, temporarily.

hehe so i changed everything in my blog, switched here and there and here i am.
so you prefer this new one or what? let me know ^^
ao anyway, on Wednesday, i had my mother tongue exam! on Thursday was english, and yesterday, Friday, was Chemistry and Social Studies. i don't know why but my school has a thing for putting difficult papers together. like next week. Physics and math paper 1.
sighhhh. i shall study at 12! start from physics ^^

nyehe.

okiee, i shall turn off my com at 11 :)

my love life, yes no?

okay so previously that update was on, generally my life.
so now it'll be on my love life, yes no? fine whatever.
there's this really awesome guy, he's sweet, funny, kind, caring, loving, honest, just everything a girl could ever ever find in a guy. i feel so damn lucky to have him. everytime i look at him just reminds me of why i liked him so much :)
yesterday we went to vivo! we talked and talked and talked.
at the end of the day, i got a kiss on my cheek and forehead. SWEET RIGHT I KNOW DON'T JEALOUS. :D

my life!

i'm soooo sorry for not updating for so freaking long!! i hope there are still readers out there :')
okaayyyy. shall update you on some stuffs!
1) my end-of-year exams are coming, and i won't be able to use my computer for quite awhile, therefore you will find lesser and shorter updates. sorry but i reall need to do well for my exams!
i promise that i will post more stuffs after the exam! the last day of my exam is on 12th of October :)
so wish me all the best? ^^
2) today is the 30th September, and it's my parents wedding anniversary!
Happy wedding anniversary mum and dad, stay young at heart, cute and happy :') i'm sorry if i had possibly angered you and not know, although most of the times i know because you made it a point to show that you're pissed with me, and i really love you guys! without you i would not have been born! hehehe you know what i mean though ;)

Ronan.

there's this song by Taylor Swift, called Ronan.
please go and listen to it. it's really indescribable. all i can say is the name Ronan will stick with me throughout my whole life now, and i'll always pray for you, Ronan.
this song is about a little boy named Ronan. he was diagnosed with stage IV Neoroblastoma.
He passed away 3 days before his 4th birthday.
Ronan was born on the 12th of May 2007.
on August 13th 2010, he was diagnosed with stage IV Neuroblastoma, a rare childhood cancer.
he fought for a long 8 months, before he passed away in his mother's arms on May 9th 2011.

listening to this song, really made me open my eyes. life is fragile, and you never know when you are going. for those of you who always has thoughts of ending your own life, think about others. while you are here trying to end your life, there are others in the world fighting for their lives.
Life is God's gift to us and what we do with our life's is our gift to God.
treasure lives.
here's to our Rockstar Ronan, and life,
xx
here's the link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QiSZKfRFmk&feature=watch_response

Kemunting trip.

hello! :) i'm back from Malaysia! here's all the pictures that i owed you! ^^
I went there on a Monday night, and reached Malaysia in the morning on Tuesday.
I came home on a Wednesday night and reached home in the morning on Thursday.
alrighty, let's not delay any further:
Day 1:

daddy playing games!

my snacks ;) i still have more!

the tiny room :(

Night 1:

this cat so cutee! i touched it and it began to follow me :/

the closest hotel we could find cos the taxi really stinks :x

Day 2:

the view in my room. hmmm.

yes i took this! :)

catfish!

this was my mum and dad's wedding pic! so cutee ><

okayy, thats all! i have somemore pics but its in my dad's camera ^^

my final post.

this will be my final post for today!
that's right, in another 2 hrs i'l be heading to Malaysia, to visit my relatives :)
haha. i'll most probably be back on like Wednesday or Thursday.
alright, shall come back with pictures ;)
byebye! ^^
xx

updates! :)

hello! :) today is Sunday and its 4.07 PM right now.
i'll be going out soon, mum needs to get something! dad and me too, for the Malaysia trip :)
so anyways, ytd was my godmum's chalet! :) today's her birthday ^^
happy birthday godmum, i love you! stay beautiful and cheerful :) <3
so anyways, i shall let tha photos speak for themselves:

my godmother and Troyston!

i know the scenery is beautiful ;)

i took this!

heh :b

i caught this using the building sandcastle thingy. but i freed it after :)

so i guess that will be all! shall post tomorrow i guess :) see you guys soon, and happy holidays! :)
xx