so that's it? you're leaving me then? because you claimed i don't feel anything for you?
i do.
the thought that you would ever ever ever doubt my feelings never crossed my mind.
i'm not one to publicly display affection.
it took a lot just for me to admit that i liked you, in the beginning.
it took a lot just for me to admit that i loved you, and still do.
it took a lot just for me to admit all this.
i did all this because i trust you.
i trust that you won't let me down. i trust you with my heart. i trust you with everything i had, those broken bits.
everytime when you would make me cry because of something that i did wrong, i would stay. all these times, i stayed. i expected the same from you.
was it too much for you then?
it's true that expectations lead to disappointments. i understood that phrase and got to try how it really felt today.
i thought you would never leave me. you said it yourself too.
me, on the other hand is still where i am. where you left me. i feel so damn lost now.
i'm the one whose always at fault aren't i?
i get all the texts from you saying how hurt you are. how you feel when we fight.
what about me? have you ever thought about me? have you ever thought how i would feel?
i'm a human. i have feelings too. i'm much more sensitive.
i can't take all these voices saying i'm useless and horrible and stupid and ugly and selfish
then again, there's only one explaination. i'm a horrible person.
that's the cause for everything right? i'm horrible and terrible
there are times i really want to die. for everything that i had ever done.
death is the way out of this trapped world im in isn't it?
death is the way out of everything in my life.
i'm not worthy of life. i'm so mean, selfish and sometimes harbor bad thoughts.
bad people like me don't deserve living.
i should die from being a horrible person
i guess i won't be posting much more?
i don't know why everybody hates me so much
maybe i do because now i hate me too
and i don't see the point for trying, for talking, for breathing
i'm done