reasons why i love you~

he's mine.

whenever we're together, and you get attention from a bunch of pretty girls,
can you make sure to show them you only love me?

Yucheng and Minghao.

haha i told you your names will come out right!
you guys are so mean, especially Minghao.
but its super fun to disturb you guys~
honestly to tell you the truth, i didn't expect Yucheng to read this blog! seriously.
i thought you always play game one, then like don't read anything lolol

This kiss.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf78alvpxRM
this video is This kiss by Carly Rae Jepson!
its a nice song :)

hot weather!

sooo yesterday Angelica stayed over night and yes we slept very late because we would spend our time talking and laughing.
haha so anyways today might be going out. not quite sure but yeah.
i don't think so though. everyones complaining how hot today is.
my stomach hurts :(
hot weathers like this pisses me off.
damn.
ordering pizza yay!

it's really windy now! i like :)
hahaha.
yesterday was at west coast park!

nada nada nada

i hate it when people take other people and compare them to me. yes i know i'm lagging behind every single seemingly perfect person that you can pull out. i know that they're always smarter, prettier, nicer, sweeter than me YES I DO KNOW IT.
but when you do it every single fucking time i get so damn frustrated because i'll never be as good as them.
or as close as good as them.
i know it. please just stop.

sides?

i can smell the rain!
anyways, today was a super long day.
after what happened yesterday, not really in the mood to talk or play or laugh.
lucky i had Jiawei, Berlindia, Faseha, Berlyn, Fiona and Preethi by my side.
those who were originally close to me flocked to her.
but firstly, why the hell were there even sides? i mean the both of us already were okay. so why did these extra people come in and mess it up more huh
this had nothing to do with you at all. so why the hell were there sides?
sighhh.

PSI.

so today my parents met teacher.
met up and talked over my results.

i've got problems, i've got issues sometimes its all too much for me

a lot of stuffs happened today.
i've lost what i think is everyone.
i'm such a fucked up person. and i hate it. i hate the ways things have turned into.
i hate to know that i'm such an evil person
i am tired of being the bad person, why am i like this?
Her:
hello, if you're reading this, i want you to know how damn sorry i am. the angry me isn't always out, but it seems to come out very often nowadays. i wasn't like this once. i gues it had to do with how perfect you are. everyone said before that no one was perfect. but you, are a different case. everyone wants to be you. you have the looks, brains and friends. me on the other hand, is trying so damn hard to fit in, while you can just walk into a room people will just listen to you. everyone loves you. i really hate what i did today. we were always very close, but because i let this thing affect me sooo much, i actually distanced myself from you, and i disliked you because you're just that perfect
the reason why i actually was angry was because there were people who told me that both of you look like you're together. when i see the both of you sitting so close and smiling and talking and laughing i also thought that.
i'm really sorry and i would like to salvage what little we have left.
i don't want to lose a friend like you. and please, don't completely distance yourself from him, i know he's like your best friend and brother but please, don't cut off connection with him just because of me.
i'm sorry.
Him:
hello. i know that you'll read this. i hope that you are. i want you to know that i'm really sorry for i had done. please don't get angry with me or upset with me when you read this because i just want to apologise and clear things up alright
i know i've been mean lately to you over this subject. to tell you the truth, i am upset with what you've got with her.
the both of you seem like you guys are really an item
i was mad at that, that you both were so close so endearing towards each other
that doesn't really give me the chance to spoil what you had
please don't let what happened earlier today ruin your friendship with her
i don't want to see the both of you so distanced because of me
i'm sorry.

gooood morning :)

today's weather seems like its gonna rain! :)
anyways, recently i've been watching some crime stories on youtube, mostly on all those murder.
sometimes i really just dont' understand why people can murder other people.
why?
some even murder their own kids for attention. wtf?
i was so shocked when i heard that!
seriously who does that?

it's a happy happy happy day! :)

so this morning you sent me a text saying you forgive me! i was really shocked and i thought i was still dreaming so i hit the wall twice. and checked my phone again. i was so damn happy!! :)
i'm really sorry that i hurt you, and i'm also happy that we're friends again ^^
alright, so anyways today went out with my dears, Jiawei and Jerome!
we went to Jcube.
we headed to the ride thingy and it was so scary :(
we then went to the cinemas but then decided not to watch cos there were no nice show :(
those nice movies were either NC 16, M 18 or were late at night!
so we went to the arcade! went there to play games and took neoprint with Jiawei!

then we went to eat kfc! :) after we finished Jerome and me went toilet! but the toilet was closed so we watched people at the ice rink and they were falling down so funny!
in the end we went to the top toilet!
then we went to toy outpost to get our earpiece but my phone doesn't support the accessory so i  couldn't listen to music :( so Jiawei didn't buy it too.
we then went back to the arcade for more games and neoprints~ but this time we took, all the pictures were nicer! but they couldn't retrieve the picture :'(
so we took again. although it wasn't as nice as the previous but its still awesome. this time we even managed to drag Jerome inside :)
i'm most likely gonna include the pics with Jerome tomorrow because now it's really laggy.
so buhbye! see you tomorrow ;)

my dear Berlindia.

Berlindia! hello :) so this post is for you alright!~ ^^
i know that you're really upset with your results, everyone is. i trust you not to do silly things over your results my dear.
to tell you the truth, i am also like damn scared i'll retain.. because my ca is really bad. and when i mean very bad, it is very bad. it took me every little effort just to get borderline passes for some of my weak subjects, like my chemistry and physics. i failed my chem by 1 mark!
i know how you feel when you've studied so damn hard but just don't get the expected results.
i really studied my math and poa but i still failed so badly.
just try and do your best for the upcoming year alright? i'm sure everyone will :)
okay. second thing.
you and your ahem best friend ;) i hope that you guys will get together soon! you two look so cute leh! i saw you at the road holding hands when i was in the bus~
to tell you the truth i've never seen you look so happy with other people before. so if you get together, last long okay :)
so summing up, don't be so pessimistic okay? i'm always here for you. i'm just a few buttons away on your phone, never hesitate to press the call button :) just like you said, i'm 24/7! if at night and you just want someone to talk to, just call. if i never pick up means i'm sleeping, or in the toilet haha! just leave a msg and i'll call you in the morning :)
i love you k? don't think so much! cheer up my dear ^^

results.

so yesterday and today was the checking of exam scripts. which = to doooom.
yep.
okay so i failed my maths and poa. sad sia.
i passed my english, chinese, combined sciences, combined humanities and art!
i really hope i won't retain..

so noisy!

downstairs so noisy :(
anyway i'll be going out today! yes :)
i'm in the process of getting ready but i decided to blog for a while :)
hehe!
we'll be going to MBS~

good morning :)

i just woke up. haha really late i know but thats cos i slept late last night!
sighhh.
feel like going out somemore! i hope my parents let me go for tomorrow!
i'm tiredddd.

awesome day minus away the sadness (part 2)

sooo the sadness is about this friend that i made earlier this year.
i'm really sorry for how i treated you. believe me, i am.
you are a really nice person, and i do feel guilty that i hurt you so badly.
i really don't want you to leave my life, despite how i just walked out on yours.
i realized fully that my actions brought on your sadness. i really hope that you will forgive me.
if you don't, i understand why. i'm sorry.

awesome day minus away the sadness.

today had fun with Jiawei and Jerome! :)
we went to Bugis to shop hehehe :b
anddd the outcome was....

if you like it, you can go get it at:
wallet: Bugis-$5
moustache ring: 3 for $10 you can mix n match with other items ^^
castle ring: 3 for $10 you can mix n match with other items :)
spiked cuff: 3 for $10 you also can mix and match :)
One Direction band: Jcube, Hoka (simply toys and toy outpost) for $8
One Direction ezlink card sticker: $1 (Jcube, Hoka)
One Direction badge: $5 (Jcube, Hoka)
 

so we had subway for our lunch, then headed for a day of shopping~
1st and 2nd hour.
walked around the whole of Bugis (i believed.)
bought the rings, cuff and wallet :) Jiawei was also looking for her transparent school bag but she didn't manage to find it :(
then we went to the arcade, and we saw this scary game. so we went inside and Jiawei and me started screaming lolol. poor Jerome!
3rd hour.
walked around Illuma in search of the neoprint shop! but when we went there, it was closed down :(
so we decided to go to other places to take neoprint!
4th hour.
we spent some time debating whether we should go to Jurong point, West mall or Jcube.
finally decided on Jcube~
we went to the ice rink, and spotted Crystal! we chatted for awhile before we set off again ^^
we went to Hoka, and i bought the One Direction's stuffs while Jiawei bought a skull necklace~
we went the arcade there to take neoprints :)

5th hour.
we trained back to Clementi where we bought gongcha and koi~ well it was me who bought koi so yeah ^^v
so during that time when i was queueing up to buy koi, i was at the cashier then we striked up a conversation, it goes like this:
Cashier (c) : you like One Direction? (cos i was wearing that band you saw up there!)
Me (m) : yup!
c : oh, so you're a directioner! who you like? Zayn ah?
m : all i like! hmmm Niall most :)
c : that's rare!
hahah so that goes.
so before we both went home,

yes yes, we took pictures again ;)

her moutache is pink while mine's blue :)

can't wait to go out with my darling again :) i love her!

for you.

i think you know who you are. just read on if you're unsure if i'm referring to you but yeah.
so this post is just to clear things up between us alright. i know i didn't really talked much to you earlier. i apologise for that.
so last night you called me up and you told me you liked her last year. remember that very long silence i gave you? yeah i was thinking of what to say and i wasn't really happy.
long before that, my opinions of her changed. as in i compared myself to her. since everyone was doing that, why not? i know i seem contradicting when i said that i hate people who compare me with others but i was just as afraid and curious to know what difference there was between us. so i did.
and now i know why you liked her.she's really pretty, no one can deny. she's smart, up to your standards. she's generous, just like you. she's kind, you admire people with that trait. she's honest, you love honest people.
she's everything while i'm nothing. that was how i felt when you told me how good she was compared to me.
i really want to talk to her. but it's just everytime i look at her, i'm reminded of how good she is and no matter how hard i try, i'm never going to be as close as good as her.
please don't be upset or angry with me when you read this. i am just being honest. this is how i really feel. i couldn't do it in real life or through the phone, so i use words to convey this messed up feeling i get. i hope you understand.

FINALLY.

FINALLY EXAMS ARE OVER WEEEEEE~
TODAYS PAPER WAS POA!

what?

just ate my dinner! right now talking to Jerome hehehe.
today's papers were Math paper 1 and Physics!
to tell you the truth the math paper was so damn difficult till i wanted to stick my head in a fan T.T

Physics was okay though thank God :)
hah yay so happy tomorrow no need to go school :D

please, don't get tired of me.

please, don't get tired of me.
 

im tired.

i'm tired of yelling, pretending, being alone, feeling angry, feeling crazy, feeling stuck.
i'm tired of needing help, remembering, missing things, missing people, feeling worthless.
i'm tired of feeling empty inside, not being able to let go.
i'm tired of wishing i could start all over. i'm tired of dreaming of a life i will never have.
i'm tired of being tired.

beautiful morning.

good morning! it's 9.44 am right now!
sighhh. tomorrow's my maths paper 1 and physics paper. honestly speaking i am so not ready for maths. seriously. i don't know a single shit.
i do know some la but still i really forgot mostly the sec 2 things :/ hmmmmm ya i'm so screwed
im actually, surprisingly, quite okay with physics.
shall finish up my physics then do my maths..

goood-nighhhht.

so now's 10.26!
today went ot clementi mall to Berlindia, Jerome and Samuel!
we went burger king ^^ saw Crystal there too!
laughed a lot but we also studied :)
afterward dinner at Mac then met up with Sophia to pass her my photocopied notes!
i'm so sweet to you leh Sophia! :b
there we bumped into Jermaine :)
hehehe. then went and buy laoban! it's like the awesome-st beancurd ever. like seriously. besides laoban i also like 51! :)
i bought 3 and i already ate 2 :/
should have bought like a few more!
then reached home about 8! :)
had a great time! :)

MY POST EXAMS PLAN.

AFTER EXAM I SWEAR IM GONNA COLLAPSE PLAYING ^^v

ARGH
so last night, when i was having my chinese tuition, i was listening to the radio!
i kept switching from 98.7 to 91.3 then finally on 91.3, i hear that Cher Lloyd was coming to Singapore on the October 13th! she's having somesort of a mini concert i think (didn't really listened cos i was fangirling) and they said that only 18 and above can go..
then they said for those not over 18, Cher Lloyd will be down at Ion Orchard at 3 :)
ARGH AND 13 OCTOBER IS LIKE ONE DAY AFTER MY EXAMS FINISH YES YES YES I LOVE CHER LLOYD~~

i'm back, temporarily.

hehe so i changed everything in my blog, switched here and there and here i am.
so you prefer this new one or what? let me know ^^
ao anyway, on Wednesday, i had my mother tongue exam! on Thursday was english, and yesterday, Friday, was Chemistry and Social Studies. i don't know why but my school has a thing for putting difficult papers together. like next week. Physics and math paper 1.
sighhhh. i shall study at 12! start from physics ^^