do you still know that there are pieces of you that you left behind daddy?
do you know how much it hurts to suddenly realise you're gone?
do you know how i feel?
i hate going home to an empty house. i hate it. i hate that it's dark and scary. i hate it that it's quiet. everytime it's quiet, i'll start thinking of you. i don't really like to think about you daddy. everything feels so surreal. it still does. i feel so hollow inside. so empty and numb. i block out all thoughts of you. yesterday was the 49th day you died. today is the 50th.
i walked into the kitchen earlier on, and opened the cupboard. i saw the small containers of spices we shopped for back in January, few days before you left. i still remember how you cooked the steak for me. i remembered the smell, the taste. i sniffed the spices and i started crying. you said you would teach me. didn't you? who am i going to talk to now daddy? you're the only person i love and trust so much. i would have done anything for you. you know it right? so why did you leave me alone?
how could you?