i'm so tired. drained. physically and mentally. i'm just this close to collapsing. maybe it'll be better, i'll get to see my daddy. it's bad enough that you're ignoring me. haven't i suffered enough? i just lost my dad. now i'm close to losing you as well. why can't you just be here for me? and just forget whatever small things that don't really matter?
sometimes i'm scared to sleep. when i lay on my bed, i always think of stuffs. i'm scared to think of my dad. i'm scared to dream about him. i'm scared to see his expression when he died. i'm scared. but i can't tell anyone because everything that i want to say feels so trapped inside me. i don't feel happy, not at all. why?