hais :( todays sunday. which means school tmr. :/
so damn tiring :(
omygoddd.
anyways, today went to Novena to celebrate mum's bday at a restaurant!
yay :)
the food wasn't that nice though no offence :x
so after that we went home.
here's the dress i wore. it isn't really a dress :/ dont know how to call it.

psshh. doesnt look good here :/

every girl has 3 guys in her life,
the one she loves,
the one she hates,
and the one she can't live without.
but in the end, they're all the same guy.

so anyways, i spent this whole day being lazy :)
read finished the book by Dorothy Koomson --> title is ' My best friend's girl '
its basically about this 2 girls, Kamryn Matika and Adele Brannon, they were best friends, until Adele did the unthinkable and slept with Nate, Kamryn's fiance. Worst thing was, Adele got pregnant.
Kamryn vowed to never see them ever again.
Then on Kamryn's 32nd bday, she got a letter from Adele, begging her to see her in hospital and asked her to adopt her daughter, Tegan. So Kamryn decided to adopt Tegan and so begins a journey of forgiveness, love and hope. :')
touching book. hope i havent revealed too much of the book :x
it's a really touching book, you guys should totally get it! :)
okay, so after that, Angelica came over :)
we talked and talked and clowned around. until we heard the icecream man! we ran down like small kids just to get the icecreams. woooo \m/
hehe. she just left :(
's alright. okie. time to play games~
see you tomorrow :)

k. so here's a proper note for you people out there.
today you guys made me open my eyes and see that there are people out there that cares.
though i might not personally know you people, but i know that i have someone that i can speak to of my problems.
hey, feel free to ask me questions too alright? just leave any comments or questions at the chatbox :)
i check it everyday so yeah. :)
its good to know that someone's out there that cares for me :)
so you can tell me your problems if you want too, just leave it in the chatbox aites? :)
goodbye for now, x
ps: rock on peeps ;)

oh my god.
i just realised i've got 2000+ pageviews!
thanks so much to those who visited my blog!
whoever you are, wherever you are, i wish the very best for you and smile :)

once again, THANKYOU :) <3

lastly, you guys are awesome! xoxo, kiana!

so anyways, today aft exam, walked around with Jermaine & Sherlyn. then bumped into Faseha & Berlindia! then Sherl & Jer went off. Faseha, Amalia, Berl and me went to buy kfc! the new burger is like, super awesome~
we went 40th storey to eat :)
hehe :B
then went interchange and saw Jonathan! went and disturbed him :b

so ytd was english exam :/ today's chinese .
my chinese teacher told me that if i nvr pass this exam i will have to go back down to NA chinese.
:( hai.
fucked up both papers. preparing to go down NA alr. but since i learnt most of the lessons in the NA last yr, most likely i will score. if i go down to NA.
but i don want. cos if i take express chinese sec 5 i  no need take chinese YAY.
hahah. hope for the best! x

todays damn tiring :(
hai. i keep telling jokes to the people around me earlier! XD
during english lesson i disturbed Sarah, Dion, Minghao, Shalini, Jermaine and Amalia!
so fun!
then Dion keep shaking my chair -_-
and he was playing his phone game in his pencil case -.-
lols. he's an asshole.
so anyw, exams start tmr and im kinda worried about how to study for english :/
can i read storybook? can right?

today's so far the worst day of the week. tmr is gonna be worser cos i read my horoscope :/
i dont know why some people are so petty. -.- how old still want play ignoring game? hai.
my fucked up life and me.

im trying to lie to myself by telling me that i've forgotten bout you. but no, i havent.



after awhile,
you learn the differences between holding hands
and falling in love.
you begin to learn that
kisses don't always mean something.
promises are easily broken as they are made,
and sometimes goodbyes are really forever.

here i am telling people not to bottle up their feelings but im actually doing the same thing.
one day i think i might just explode.

this love is difficult,
but its real.

o.o the posting template changed. oh well. :)
hahah yay im finally posting again! :) for today and tmr only, then the next whole week will be study study and study! :>
i think i better get started on math soon! :)

a month passed. im slowly gettin better. im slowly recovering. but the hole you left in my heart is still there.

helloo! :) yay! haha finally posting in here! :) manage to get some time off :p
hahah. past few days have been studying like mad, but the effort paid off. i passed a physics test :D
never felt so happy in my whole life :)
hahaha! today had chem and physic test! hope i pass :x
hais.
today stayed back to the art thingy! :)
then met up with Amalia and Jerome, eat Mac.
then met Jonathan and we went home tgt! :)
walked around then he sent me home. so fun :)

last night i wondered if you ever think of me the way i do.

all the memories start flooding my mind.

speech day '12~

Sherlyn! :p

Sophia! :)

Jiawei! :D

Jermaine! x)

exams!

helllo! :)
omyyy. my exams are coming up soon! so i wont be posting until exams are over i guess. or maybe i might find some time in between :/ so anyways! this will post will be for Faseha mostly and rest of the girls :)
Faseha: my dear girl. :) i know you're kinda upset with some person i cant mention. i know *ahems been sending you mixed signal and you dont know what to do. if i were you, i would believe the harsh version rather than the fairytale one. don get me wrong, im not saying you don have a chance with him but its better to stick to the harsh one cos if he just want to be friends, at least you've gotten used to believing the harsh one and you might not be that upset cos thats what you expect. right? i don want to see you get hurt or see you crying okay! but, know that i'll always be here. i know you're strong. i love you <3
rest of the girls: hiii. i understand the message you're trying to tell me. but what if i told her and she still continues to go with me? i want to do well and succeed in life but i don want to lose a friend also.
so what do i do?

today tution @ 2. ended at 3.30.
haha.
now still raining :(

im afraid that the same thing would happen if i accept you.
i dont want to be let down again.

speech day!

today was speech day so only had 3 lessons :p
maths, pe and art!
after sch, Sarah and Amalia and me went to kfc for breakfast! then Sarah and me went to my grandma house take money! while Amalia met Jerome. then we met up all in the library.
aft that bought the 9 piece spicy chicken nugget from Mac. super yummy i swear! :)
went back school to eat.
then we chatted with Sophia then she randomly took out her camera and started taking pics with us :)
when she wanted to take with Jerome, he moved too quickly and fell off the bench LOL.
i laughed till the milo nearly came out from my nose -_-
lols. then we went to the hall for speech day thingy. sat beside Jonathan and Amalia :)
sit till my ass pain :( wl they give out awards give like 1hr sia -.-
heard band play! so nice :') hahahha k so dramatic.
wanted to go their concert but sold out :( ARGHH.

mum's getting home earlier and earlier.. :/

damn. today teacher changed our seats in a seemingly fun way. :/ im sitting next to Yucheng & Jasveer.
hais.
aft that lunch with Sarah! then we went swing met Jonathan and Jeremy! we swingswing for like 15mins then walked off.
after that went library! sit there talktalk, went home :)

hypophrenia.

yesterday :(

yesterday had napfa :( walao so tiring!
had 5 stations ytd !
first was situps, then standing board jump then sit n reach then inclined pullups lastly shuttle run.
my class's 5 stations were at 4.15 so we had alot of time to waste. Sarah and me dumped our art stuff in the canteen and we went to clementi mall to change into our pe shirts! we walked around then bought some stuffs to eat and went to the 40th storey!
we then went back to school.
aft the gruelling 2 hr, Jiawei, Sherlyn, Shermayne, Amalia went to each-a-cup.
bleh.

:(

you said that you would never leave me.

where are you right now?

how long more to put up with this pain?

the truth is all i can hear everytime you lie.

and there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears

and love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

im so fucked up right now. i dont know how im feeling.

what do you do when 3 people likes you at the same time and all of them wants an answer?

missing someone you ONCE had,

is like removing a ring at your finger that you've worn for very long,

it feels like it's still there,

BUT ITS NOT.

its so fucking difficult to forget bout you.
how can you just let go of all the memories we shared?

the memories that i held on so tight are now slowly getting loose.

expectation is the root of all heartaches.

yay :)

had fun ytd! went out with Amalia Jeremy Jonathan Trevor
i bumped into Trevor at the bus stop and we went to the mrt there tgt. :)
we met Amalia Jonathan and Jeremy there.
Jiawei was supposed to go with us but she had flu :( get well soon babe <3
we went to jcube, wanted to get tickets for the movie Hunger Games but sold out \(-.-)/
so we got The Vow tickets.
show was so touching~ so sweet :') strongly recommend (y)
the show actually starts at 4.45 and it was around 2 when we got the tix so we decided to go Jurong point i think. the guys went to the arcade while Amalia and me went mac and eat! :D
then we met up with them at the arcade and played some games! then we went back jcube.
aft watching the movie we went IMM then we went to the bus stop. Amalia was waiting for her mum at IMM so left the 4 of us, we went take the bus then ended up somewhr somehow :/
we walkwalkwalk walk until 603 near my grandma house :)
then Jeremy went home left 3 of us.
i decided to walk the 2 of them to the bus stop.
aft that when i thought they left i went to west coast plaza :)
then Jonathan followed me -_-
went to popular, bought a magazine thenn i kept on asking him to read the back of storybooks XD
then went back :) haha yay i wanna go out again!

so Angelica just went back. now im all alone :/
im so tired.
yay! tmr might be going out :)
haha! but i got tuition at night :/

im not okay.

i sometimes pretend to be happy,

talking alot and laughing out loud so that no one would know what's really inside.

but at the end of the day, i always find myself all alone,

encountering the crucial truth that i'm too broken inside,

that not even a million laughter can take it away.

omy. had math test today. practically slept thru the whole bloody paper. -_-
after school went off with Sherlyn and Faseha.
we went mac but we saw The Dog and The Slut.
felt kinda upset seeing them tgt. in sch in the morning saw them walk in. i gave them the glare and eye roll. hope they saw that. but come to think of that i will keep doing it so they will confirm notice.
well saw them in mac and immediately walked out. Sherlyn left then Faseha and me met Meifang there.
Faseha talked to me at the interchange. cant believe it but i actually cried.

HOW COULD YOU?

wtf? just realised your a TWO TIMER FUCKING JERK
i hope you rot in hell
motherfucker

what did i do to deserve this?

waking up is hard to do when no one loves you.

what hurts the most is that the memories i used to hold on so close to me

are now the memories i wish i could forget forever.

tiring day. had heart 2 heart talk w Faseha at the interchange. hehe :)
she's gonna bake cupcakes for us! YAY!! omy *mouth watering* *_*
am in love with Nicki Minaj's song: Starships.
that song is like freaking awesome la k. (y)

im sorry i constantly want to talk to you. im sorry when you take so long to reply and i get upset. im sorry when i say things that pisses you off. im sorry if i come off as annoying. im sorry if you don want
to talk to me as much as i want to. im sorry if i think about you too much and too often. im sorry if i tell you about my pointless drama when you dont really care. im sorry if i come off as clingy, but its just me missing you. im sorry for being alive.

i dont love me. thats how i understand why you dont either.

sometimes you just have to smile and pretend that everything's okay,

hold back the tears and just walk away.

she smiles to mask the pain in her heart,

she laughs to conceal the tears in her eyes.

its really difficult to forget about you.

why do you have to do this to me?

i see you moving on so damn easy, and i just hate you for that.

why cant i do the same thing?

today was a tiring day :/
left my art stuffs at KFC :/ seem to keep forgetting things!
met Jonathan and we went to get my stuffs back. hehe :) lucky got it back! spent $40+ on all those.
omy. thanks to him! :) hehe.
i want go swing tmr :( but like practically everyone has speech day rehearsal.
i don have because i don go for rehearsals :p
teehee. :) hais.
Friday might be watching Hunger Games with Amalia and Jonathan. the rest not sure :/
hais. 

people keep telling me to be strong.

do you know how tough it is?

when every single thing is going wrong?

how hard is it to contain my tears when people are around?

how i cant explain my sudden silence around people?

how i pretend to laugh and go crazy just to stop people from probing too much?

how i always hide in my room and cry till i fall asleep?

went to the 40th storey today.
looked down.
sometimes i wished i really have the courage to just jump.
after all nothing in my life is meaningful.

i feel like im nothing compared to those really pretty girls.

im still hurting.

how i wish there was a shoulder for me whenever im upset.
im tired of being the one who has a shoulder for everyone.
i feel so unwanted and alone.

walao. cant believe i spent like 4 hrs waiting for jonathan chiew -_-
yeah and when we went to the bloody swing saw Zongxian and the rest. shit.
now the sec 2 know me -.- fml.
when got home asked dad for 20. for the bloody brushes and paint.
then asked mum for 22
16 for class tee and the rest for chinese -.-
don want give me.
say i take alot of money from them
argh fuck this shit. shall use my own money

webcam kehh-raayy-zyyy!

last night went to expo :p hehe so fun.
today Angelica came over :) had a fun time watching Karate Kid on HBO teehee.
then we took silly pictures with cousins :)