tsktsk. last night on Twitter with Jiawei had a row with _ e _ _ _ _ e. SECRET. :x
today during physics Shahidah looked for me. then during recess Both S, S and C told me to go talk to _ e _ _ _ _ e. but she was surrounded by like 3 or 4 guys. and 2 girls. scary much, don know why i so scared also :o hai. . but turned out it wasn't us she was saying she's probably lying cos there's 4 ppl  behind me. then she scared. so, yepp. cant believe that in the group of 3 4 guys, YOU were actually inside there. you and her look more of a couple. your ignoring me. do you know how much that hurts? my faith in you is fading.
 aftnoon went to library with Pris, then we went macdonald,takeaway. for the first time in my life i actually finished my macspicy~ then otw home just realised i forgot to hand in my chem hw to Ms Asmah. srsly dont like her. every little thing oso must scold. and then she'll give that annoying face -.-
she cant even pronounce 'degree celcius' properly. she pronounces it as 'decree celshhhhhiusssss' annoying right? TSKTSK

today had breakfast w Berlindia, Sherlyn and Jermaine. rained heavily :( shoes were totally wet. hais.
just rmb had some chem hw, but i forgot to bring home my chem tb. sian.
the way you tweet it made it seem that you like her. nowadays you dont even bother to start the convo. you dont even put emoticons, tell me why are they invented? to show your emotions right!
probably we should just forget bout it. your not even serious. i don know why im tied down with you. i can tell deep inside you like her. your a good person, sometimes i get jealous seeing you with her is cos i know that i will never ever be able to make you smile like that. right? oh well.

finished my tuition @9. now is 9.45. watching 23.59 on disc ltr :)

todays friday :) FINALLY. but tmr still gotta go school. hai :( must wear sch uni somemore. nvm, might be able to see my dears :) Jermaine Jiawei Sherlyn Berlindia :)

ohmyy. fever 38.4

stuck in the moment, there's nothing my heart.

GIRLS OUT THERE WATCH THIS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knfhn-zbKsY&feature=related
this video really made me believe that i dont have to change for anyone else. because thats who i am. God made me. and im proud to be me :)

whoaa. just realised i didnt update blog for so many freaking days :/ ah well. ytd during ce lesson, Mr Tan, Amalia and I discussed about the classroom thingy. alot of decorations blahs. i contributed the ideas and Amalia, knowing me so well then went on to explain what i had in my mind :)
today stayed back to clean up the classroom. on Saturday the class committee have to go back to school just to mop the floor and clean windows all these things.
im having a headache :(

im going mad just looking at your fucking black face. so pissed for what?
cb ltr do hw oso cannot? you want try study whole day then finally can get rest awhile then i come in ask you do hw you one? SCREW YOU

i tell you how many times not to disturb me? nvr knock door just come in
LTR DO HW ALSO CANNOT MEH? WILL DIE ONE AH
PLS LA TODAY FRIDAY I LTR STILL GOT TUITION STUDY WHOLE DAAY YOU STILL NOT HAPPY
WANT ME STUDY TILL I DIE AH!
MOTHERFUCKER

i hope i can maintain this blog. i dont know if there are any ppl reading this but yeah :)
last time when i was younger, i was encouraged to keep a diary but i always failed to write LOL.
so the purpose of this blog is to probably pour out my feelings and emotions. its much more easier i guess:)
i dont really rmb much of my childhood except for really stupid stuffs i used to do HAHAH
i always like to move things around and decorate stuffs so i bought this sticker, and stuck it all over the fridge in my grandma's house. right now its still there HAHAHA. i guess i was really silly when i was younger. i now still am though.
ughh, just rmb i forgot to do my english essay -.- shall go do it now :)

omygosh.

i dont know why but whenever you text me i get this fuzzy fuzzy feeling up my spine. like don know how describe. the feeling abit itchy HAHAH

today. was okay i guess. today for morning assembly Berlindia was leading it! HAHAHA. she talk like damn fking soft. HAHAH, tmr she still need do. goodluck Berlindia! <3 :)

the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting that your special too.

im gonna smile like nothing's wrong. talk like everything's perfect. act like it's all a dream, and it isnt hurting me. - anonymous.

tsktsk. poa teacher made me stay back cos i nvr go ytd remedial. ARGHHHH got to pass every single test and exam, i dont want remedial! -.-

today got total defence day. -.- sch canteen sold the food are all wartime food. srsly how the heck is greenbean soup or some stupid food gotta do with total defence? wtfff ==

Jiawei's right. i can only trust myself. just cos you, you made me lose trust in everyone. EVERYONE.

everybody somehow got their valentine on valentines day. me? im magically single again :))))))

asshole. DON TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN

a BIG mistake. why the fuck were i even with you? i must be blind. i guess i was
FUCK YOU

valentines day suck. really sucked for me though. got presents from my dearest gf's! :) heh. love them. they're so sweet. :)

i may seem like i dont care, but trust me, i really do :)

cant stand sch. there are only 2 reasons just for me to go to sch,
1) STUDYYY
2) just to see you :)
i bet you don know right? i know i always might seem like i don want to talk to you or so, that's just cos i dont know what to say, im afraid or nervous or whatever. im sorry, i know you feel that way cos im always so nonchalent. im sorry. i will speak to you more in sch, i promise:)
i guess i better stop all these nonsense and start revising my work. if not, sure fail again this yr.

LOOK. if you want to NO ONE'S STOPPING YOU
i mean if she likes you and you like her then fine lor. what can i do? don blame me for being so ignorant. you two perfect match then im out of the picture.

so, you wanna pretend to like her so that he will fight harder for her? sure. its not like im your mother to decide for you. your old enough to decide. if she likes you, then fine. whatever la k i don give a fuck

time to change my mixpod songs to smt really happy! :)

my stomach hurts T.T diarrhea. wtfff
anyw today aft sch went to buy gifts with the girls, Jiawei, Sherlyn, Berlindia and Amalia. its for tmr, valentines day ;)
so sad sia today no present :( haish nvm. sherlyn so lucky!! *AHEMMM*  asked me to passed a rose to her. envy her:(
feeling much better, all thanks to them. they really cheered me up! i dont know what i will do without them srsly. if you girls are still reading my blog, i just wanna say i love you, and thanks :)
OH OH. AND.
Jiawei! that stupid asshole is not worth your time and tears:) smile my dear! you'll look prettier! <3 love you always k!

UNBELIEVABLEEE

holy shit cant believe im actually going on Youtube LOOKING AT B2ST SONGS
BERLINDIA! see la i go your blog the first song i listened i thought was some kind of english song then when i look closely is b2st song! i still think that song is nice.

BigTimeRush! Justin Bieber! Cody Simpson!

my favourites <3                              

i <3 <3 Cody simpson!

so damn cute!

i feel like eating cakes and cupcakes. *mouth watering*
LOOOOOOOKKK!

another typical sunday. back to sch tmr. siann. hate everyone in the new class. they suck. i miss Sherlyn, Priscilla, Berlindia and Jiawei. stupid sch. purposely separate us. :<

see the pretty girl on your left? the one with the dimple? yes.

she's my pillar of strength, the one i can ALWAYS count on whenever i feel down.

she's been my best friend for 3 yrs. in that whole 3 yrs, she brought my :( to a :D

i look forward to school just cos of this crazy funny pretty cute silly annoying smiley fun girl. :)

no one can ever replace her.

eh whoever her bf is, YOU BETTER TREAT HER WELL.

she really is one true nice girl, not like all those fake bitches. 

you break her heart, and see what happens you _!_

-forever my soul sister, best friends and girlfriend- <3

<3 I LOVE YOUU. <3

i miss my great grandma. her laughter used to be my source of joy. i miss hugging her, the powdery smell of her and holding her fragile hand. it hurts me to know i'll nvr see her smiling so happy again. will she rmb me?
im good at faking the smiles. :) they wont see past the smiles im putting on. im so glad that i didnt share this blog with others. im afraid of burdening them with my troubles.
im afraid of losing everyone. i cant bear the thought i will be alone next time. i dont want to be all by myself. im scared of dying.

i guess im still stuck in the same old place. back to square 1. i feel lonely and scared. this feeling is really horrible. im sick and tired of all problems.

cried till i can cry no more. whats the use? tears cant bring you back right?

its so hot in here.

i dont know what to do now. i really dont.

smiling at someone that hates you just to piss them off even more :)

not knowing what to text back but not wanting the conversation to end. :/

putting on your headphones and suddenly everyone wants to talk to you -.-

sometimes you have to let go of something good to make room for something even better.

the first person who's on your mind the moment you open your eyes after a long sleep is the reason of either your happiness or pain.

people say, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer," the problem is, nowadays you just can't tell them apart.

forgive me if i smile, its just to hide my fears. forgive me if i laugh, its just to hide the tears.

no matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. someone somewhere else is fighting hard to survive.

trust is like a glass, once it's broken, it difficult to put it back tgt again.

music is my escape from all the confusion, hurt, drama and lies.

letting go is hard, but moving on is the hardest.

sometimes being strong means being able to cry. sometimes moving on means being strong enough to let go.

this week has really been a very tiring week. on monday received news that my great grandma passed away. aft that immediately returned home. from then on every night i have to go to her funeral. usually go there bout 4 smt. home by 11+
ytd didn't go to sch. last day of her funeral, everyone must attend. lost my voice from all the crying and screaming. i dont ever want to go back to the mandai crematorium again.
death is really scary.
RIP taipo.

i love you forever <3